Full Moon While the Sun Shines

There really is never a dull moment around here. Let me illustrate by telling a favorite blackmail story from last summer ...

The little girls have been asking to swim in their little wading pool all day. It had been raining off and on all day so I told them when the sun comes out. At about 5 p.m. the sun showed itself so I let the girls go out. Joanna couldn't find her swimsuit and announced she would swim in her panties and shirt. I thought nothing more of it until dh came home. I could hear the girls playing and was rather irked when he sent an older kid to get me. He asked me if I knew what my girls were doing. I was about to snap at him when I turned and saw what my (why are they mine when they are causing mischief?) girls were doing. They had put their Little Tike slide halfway in the pool so they could slide into the water. Well, the sun wasn't the only thing showing itself. Joanna decided swimming in the buff was better. I see her naked little butt go down the slide. Of course, my first reaction was to bust out laughing. Dh (who was trying not to laugh himself) scolded me and said people at the park could see her. Eh, no one was at the park so we let her have her fun.

hmmm ... you know what the funny thing is? I've never been skinny-sipping but dh has. I wonder whose little girl Joanna really is!

You're never too young ...

to have your big brother teach you how to play Uno.


Eric really enjoyed the game. He get something to hold (& chew) and a steady conversation (Oren likes to talk). Those are Eric's two favorite things, chewing and attention. According to Oren, Eric won both games and fell asleep during the shuffling of the cards for the third.

Eric must know the ropes of the game though. Oren tried to help Eric lay down one card, and Eric yelled at him. It could be that Eric was busy chewing on it. Perhaps it was just Eric's strategy since another card was used. After all he "won" the game after couples more turns.

I think both boys rather enjoyed the game (it was sure funny to watch).

Matches, Pens & Coins

It is interesting what ends up in the wash around here. I can understand the pen and coins. I pocket the change pretty fast. It just gets recycled around here anyway. The kids earn money. The kids lose money. Mom finds money. Mom gives kids money again when they earn it. LOL! The matches is the questionable item I found in today's episode of climbing Mount Washmore. Why? Maybe I do not want to know especially since I was washing only the kids' clothing and linens.

I have found what things do not wash well over the course of 12 years of doing laundry. Crayons wash well enough but dry horribly. The same goes for lisptick or chapstick. Pull-ups and diapers are beyond your worst nightmare. Paper towels aren't too bad unless you dry them. They are rather friendly things and like to cling to everything. Kleenexes too. Toys will make it unless battery operated. That can be good though if the toy was annoying. Cell phones do not wash or dry well at all. They make a lot of noise as they dry too. Magnets will melt a bit and permanently stick to the inside of your dryer if you dry them. Compasses or watches don't do well. Gum loses its flavor. Pens are fickle and vary on type.

Washing money is not the same as laundering money. LOL! I grew up thinking I was breaking the law each time I accidently washed some cash. I would look over my shoulder just knowing the law was after me. I wish I laundered more of it now ... finders keepers, ya know. I think I earned a whopping 26 cents today. At least that washed well!

If I only had a brain ...

It seems my brain has gone in to retirement. Hiding is more like it really. Even with my nifty little toys like a pocket pc and those good ol' stand-bys called calendars I cannot remember properly. I can't seem to remember orthodontist appointments. Actually, I did remember yesterday's orthodontist appointment. I just forgot who was supposed to be there. I took the wrong kiddos. I guess that happens with three in orthodontics.

Some higher power must love me though because I did have the correct child with me, but only because we were shopping for flooring after the appointment. We built two new bedrooms in our basement for the two oldest boys. The project is about done. We are to the flooring stage so I (& kiddos) went to meet hubby at the flooring store after the appointment. The boys didn't pick out the flooring anyway as they were having too much fun playing on the humungo carpet rolls.

Where was I? Oh yeah, orthodontist. Luckily, I still had the right kid. It really chapped my oldest who was drug along since I though she was one of the appointments. She doesn't like the cold (but is always complaining about being hot ... teenagers) and wasn't interested in flooring either.

So I guess it all worked out. At least I didn't forget it was my oldest's brithday today (and 2-3 day FedEx is helpful when you do forget to get her gift on time).

Why 4 year-olds shouldn't go shoppping ...

My darling 4 year old had the day off from pre-school on Friday. I had some money burning a hole in my pocket. We loaded up the car and went shopping. Shopping isn't bad but clothes shopping is especially when it means trying on clothes.

First there is the cramming-the-cart-loaded-with-two-kids-into-the-dressing-room obstacle. Check. Then comes the trying on the clothes-that-look-good-on-the-rack-but-think-twice-about-it-doing-the-same-for-you obstacle. Check. The most mortifying is the loud-mouth-announce-to-the-world-your-mother-is-undressing-four-year-old obstacle. Check.

There is nothing like hearing, "Oh yuck! I see your boobs!" yelled by your child in a voice that can rival the sound system in the store. You then sound like a snake hissing out orders to be quiet.

To make the crammed dressing room more fun is having a nursing baby with you. The said baby gets excited when he sees your shirt lift thinking it is time to eat. So you have to manuever out of site of the baby as well as the 4 year-old or the baby's cries at being tricked will rival that personal PA system you claim as your child.

Since I can be a slow learner, I went to not one or even two stores but three. I must be a glutton for punishment. At least I found an outfit that looked as good on me as it did on the rack. It was almost worht it.

Joanna

Joanna is my sixth child. She is a petite thing. The only thing petite though is her size. Her screams and fits when she doesn't get her way are large and loud. She has a pair of pajamas that read, "If all else fails, turn on the charm." Joanna can turn on the charm by batting her big brown eyes. She can roll them like a pro if you exasperate her too. Another thing about Joanna that isn't petite is her self-confidence.

A month ago as Joanna brushed her hair to get ready for school, she told me why she needs to brush it. Good hygiene? Nope! "So the boys will chase me and *kiss, kiss* (making the sound)." I shut my mouth which had dropped open. I did open it long enough to tell Joanna that she isn't supposed to kiss boys. She reassured me that she won't be kissing any boys, but they'll kiss her. I guess there is a difference, but not if Dad has anything to say about it.

It seems Joanna is sweet on a boy (or two). I've seen a couple sweet on her too. So Clint and I had a talk with Joanna that pre-school is really too young to be kissing guys or thinking of marriage (she brought that up too). I've always said that Joanna will be the child to give me gray hairs. At least I can rest assured she has a nice dose of self-confidence (and they make products to cover up the gray).

If you find butter knives in the bathroom ...

When you brush your teeth at night and see four butter knives and a dish towel, you might scratch your head and wonder why. You will think real hard and finally remember ...

If your husband is out-of-town, he is going to call home.

If your husband calls home, the phone is going to ring.

If the phone rings, it will play "Old MacDonald".

If it plays "Old MacDonald", the kids are going to start singing too.

If all the kids are singing, it gets REALLY loud.

If it gets REALLY loud, you can't hear hubby on the phone.

If you can't hear hubby on the phone, you are going to go to your bathroom. The door locks, ya know.

If you are in the bathroom, you will see the counter to sit on. It is also convienent for laying things down.

THEN you will remember that you were drying dishes when hubby called home and started the whole fiasco. And that is how butter knives end up in the bathroom.

Now if I could only figure out how a full glass of orange juice got into the hamper. Better yet ... How did it not spill? We haven't had orange juice in the house for two days!!

Ahhh ... life on the funny farm.

P.S. The juice got in the hamper because Joanna hides her snacks (found spaghetti too) to keep her brothers and sisters out of it. Unfortunately either she hides it too well or forgets (out of sight, out of mind) her stash.

Stuck

"Daddy, I stuck!" That was my oldest's first sentence. She was trying to squirm out of her carseat in a Houdini wanna-be attempt at freedom. She just managed to get herself stuck.

I heard screams of being stuck this morning. This time it was from the four year old. She was not a happy camper. That made it all the funnier which is why I grabbed the camera before rescuing her.



Oh, if looks could kill. She is really good in the dirty looks department. It seems dirty boots too. She wanted to go sledding but stepped off the porch into the quagmire. I did pull her free with boots attached even. She still hates that I took the picture.

Winter Wonderland

Before I moved up north to the cornfields of Illinois, I lived in central Texas where I was born and raised. We never had snow like this and will get in one day an amount totalling what I saw in 20 years in Texas. It sure is pretty though, especially from inside in front of a warm fire sipping hot chocolate.

It wasn't always so pretty to me. Before I moved up north 12 years ago, I was tending my blooming roses in 78 degree weather only to immersed in -19 degree temperatures with plenty of snow on the ground a week later. I didn't like it, not at all. It has grown on me now. I enjoy the distinct seasons. I see the leaves change colors, snow fall and cling to the bare branches which will soon be budding with green in a couple of months. The farmers will be plowing fields which show a rich black soil (my favorite). I love it out here with all of the colors of nature.

Right now I will enjoy the quiet (until the kids come home) view sipping my hot chocolate and appealing to my pyromaniac tendencies having a big fire going to warm cold toes.

What were they thinking?

My kids are smart. They really are. I have their report cards to prove it, but there is no slot for a grade on common sense. Maybe that is a good thing as it would bring down their GPA.

My 11 year-old came in asking me what the blue snow was. As I like to stay warm I really did not know since I didn't venture outside. She said when she tasted it (my mind is madly trying to assure itself that no bodily fluids are blue) it tasted like salty, moldy potatoes mixed with moldy fish. I personally have never tried those combined flavors. I just told her that was really stupid to do.

My husband comes in wanting to know what I was be-littling our daughter about. I make her repeat the story. Hubby eloquently stutters out, "That was just ... what your mother said." Yep, couldn't have said it better myself.

The mystery substance? Miracle-Gro gone bad hubby had thrown out on our snow-covered garden area. Kaly insists she spit it out (who would want to eat those flavors anyway?). Seeing she didn't shoot up three inches overnight, I guess she didn't swallow any.

What was her reasoning for sampling unknown substances on the ground, you ask? "That's what they do on TV."