Christmas Funnies & Riddles

Charissa shared these with me after she got them from her school newspaper. I got a chuckle out of them. I hope you will too. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!

Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged

Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?

Multiple Personality - We Three Kings of Disoriented Are

Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sings (About Me)

Paranoia - Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

Mania - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Office and Town

Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Goin' to Cry, I'm Goin' to Pout, Then MAYBE I'll Tell You Why



What do you get if you deep-fry Santa Claus?
Crisp Cringle

Why did Santa Claus trade Rudolph?
He wanted change for a buck

What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claus-trophobic


Ha-ha-ha and Ho-ho-ho ... Have a safe holiday season!

Funny Kid Videos

Sorry about the darkness, but Eric was so funny thinking he was pulling Charissa in our rolling desk chair. MUSH!

Oren and Kalynne goofing off ... think being cooped up indoors is getting to them.

Ice Ice , Baby!

There is ice everywhere, coating everything. It makes for some fast sledding and cool wipeouts. The landing isn't as soft as snow though. It was funny to watch the slipping and sliding from a warm house thanks to good insulation and a warm fireplace. Eric loved the show and stood at the window watching the kids who had an extra day added to their Christmas break.

The ice storm sent tree limbs snapping and breaking because of the accumulation. Nothing like being woken up from sleep from the trees snapping outside your window. We lost power about 5 a.m. and didn't get it restored until 1 p.m. We were prepared (food, generator and fuel) and fared well. We didn't have to bring out the generator, but will have to bring out the chainsaw.

The clothesline was a casualty of a fallen tree branch (the branch behind the one trunk that looks like it is suspended is resting on the line). I had been after hubby to cut the branch for the last two years. He can check that off his to do list now.

They're dropping like flies ...

Merry Christmas to me, Merry Christmas to me ... NOT!

First it was Charissa as her dad sped her home from seminary. She had her head hanging out the window. Hubby's car made it, but my stairs were not so lucky. BLECH! Then it was Joanna last Sunday who missed church and was nursed by her daddy.

Then it was Cara, but she was faking it although I still let her stay home. I made sure life was boring as possible for her. You need plenty of rest when sick, right? Yeah, she won't being repeating that anytime soon.

Now it is the biggest baby of all ... hubby. I know he is sick when he doesn't fight when told to stay home from work. That means he will hog the computer, and I actually gotta look like I work all day. I think I might leave him and Charissa home (she has a free pass on finals due to good grades and attendance so is out of school until January) with Eric so I can finish some shopping. Eric takes a 3 hour nap from 9:30 to about 1 p.m. or so. Yeah, I'm spoiled.

I guess it is better that hubby be sick now since on Sunday I have to teach two lessons (10-12 year old) and my 12-13 year old young women. Clint also got us into a family musical number that we are performing. I don't whether to wish that they all get sick now and not ruin my holiday (but wouldn't mind not singing) or just hope for the best that hubby is the last hit. Our room is under quarantine as I hang on to hope.

Sigh ... I better start acting ... er ... cleaning.

Edited to Add: ARRRGGGHHHH! Not 15 minutes later another bites the dust ... Oren had to make sure my two sets of stairs were a matching set. He just nailed the downstairs ones.

Geography Bee Winner

Today was our middle school's Geography Bee. Every student in the 6th-8th grades takes a geography test. The top 30 scorers then compete in the school's geography bee. For the third year, Oren made it to the school's geography bee. His first year he scored 11th, inched out of the finals in a tie-breaker.

This year hubby was unable to make it due to lack of any vacation time so I continued to text him the results as the bee wore on ...

Top 12 - still going

In finals! won tie-breaker

Top 3 so far!

HE WON!!!

Some of the questions I would really have questioned if Oren had not gotten them correct. One of the questions in the semi-finals was asking in which state the city of Galveston was located. We went there two Spring Breaks ago to camp and show the kids the ocean. I did realize we need to take the kids to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina as Oren was the only one to miss that question in the semis.

Now that Oren won at the school level, he will take an intense test after Christmas Break to try for qualification for the state bee. The top 100 scores on that test participate in the state's geography bee.

Oren won a trophy with certificate from the school and a really cool atlas from National Geographic. He might have to hide the atlas from his dad. Oren displayed good sportsmanship after which a slightly inflated ego surfaced. That is okay though because it isn't too bad, and he is almost as excited as I am about all of it.

The 30 Participants

The 10 Semi-Finalists

The 2 Finalists

Oren Wins!

The 3 Winners

Congratulations, Oren!

A Brrr...thday Party

Jonathan's birthday party was Saturday even though his birthday was the first of December. Jonathan wanted an Antarctic Party. After much research (gotta love google), I came up with some cool game ideas. The games were catered to 10 year-olds.

These are the invites that I made. For privacy and security issues when dealing with the internet, I blacked out certain information. I used a font called Frosty and found the cute penguin clip art on-line.

Decorations consisted of snowflakes hanging from the light/fan and on the counter. I had a snowflake tablecloth and bought blue plates with cup and napkins which also had snowflakes on them. The snowflake decorations as well as the cups, plates and napkins were bought cheaply at our dollar store for a dollar a package. I spent $7 for decorations. I already owned the tablecloth.

We served pizza and soda for dinner at the beginning of the party which allowed any late comers to not miss out on the fun and games. After dinner, we had games. All the games kept with the theme of the Antarctic/Arctic. Following the games was refreshments and gift opening. We did away with the traditional cake. Instead we had powdered doughnut holes (snowballs) and ice cream. Goodie bags were snowflake covered bags filled with candy.

Game #1: Ice Cube Relay - Mark a start and a finish line. Each player is given an ice cube. At go, each person pushed their ice cube with their nose across the floor to the finish line. If an ice cube melts before the finish line is crossed, a replacement one is given.

It was funny to watch as one boy scooped the ice cube up in his mouth and pretended to push it. he then spit it out at the finish line. Boys were getting tangled up in each others' legs, and the spectators were laughing pretty hard.

To change this up for a party later this week, I am having a set of mittens per team (2). The first player puts on the mittens, grabs an ice cube (kind you buy in a bag) and runs it to the other side to dump it into a pail. The player then runs back and hands off the mittens to the next team member. It continues a bucket is filled. I bought cute metal buckets at our local Wal-Mart.

Game #2: Seal Game - For this game you need paper cut-outs of fish. Each player gets on his knees. As the fish is dropped the player tries to grab it with his "flippers" (aka hands) slapping together. He can bend his body but cannot move off the spot or his knees.

We didn't do this game due to time constraints which disappointed the birthday boy. We might have to give it a try at a later date.

Game #3: Polar Bear Tag - One person is selected to be the polar bear. That person is on his hands and knees in the middle of the room. The rest of the players are penguins. Their job is to waddle from one side of the room to the other without being caught by the polar bear. The last remaining penguin becomes the new polar bear.

This game was a favorite and fun for all ages. I played the polar bear once even. We had some high jumping penguins trying to escape the swipes of the polar bear.

Game #4: Penguin Relay - The only supplies needed are players and plastic eggs. I used paper mache' eggs found at my local hobby store. Depending on the number of eggs, divide the players into teams. The eggs are placed at the feet of the players who are now parent penguin taking care of their eggs. At go, penguins waddle their eggs to the next player on their team. The game continue until the first team has all gone.

Some boys were not careful parents and ended up playing soccer and kicking their eggs across the line. It was fun though, and funny to watch those eggs go every which direction. There are also foam eggs available, but the mache' eggs held up really well.

Game #5: Iceberg Races - Players partner off. One is the pusher while the other is the pushee. The pushee sits on an iceberg (carpet square). At go, the pusher then pushes the team mate on the iceberg around the room. Depending on the size of the room, a number of laps can be set to win the race.

We had boys sliding off their icebergs, being dragged by their team mate and general fun chaos. I used felt squares which worked on my wood floors. The squares were not big enough though so I would change that to the size of a carpet square or at least 2 feet by 2 feet. Quilt batting would also work depending on the flooring.

Game #6: Feed the Penguin - Supplies needed are goldfish crackers or the like. Players pair off with one being the penguin and the other the feeder. Each team is given the same amount of fish crackers. At go, the feeders try to toss as many fish crackers as possible in the "penguin's" mouth. The penguin's knees are together with flippers (hands) at their sides.

This was the favorite game of the night. I will be paying for it as I am still finding fish crackers to sweep. It was worth it, and a definite keeper for games.

Game #7: Blizzard - White balloons are blown up. Players are divided into two teams, one on each side of the room. At go, the teams try to blow the balloons to the other team's side.

We also were unable to do this game. I am using it for my daughter's kindergarten party though later this week.

Game #8: Snowball Fight - Crumbled paper becomes the snowballs (balled up socks can work too). It is an all out war. Forts can be constructed from blocks, tri-folded cardboard or whatever the imagination can imagine.

The furniture in our living room was enough to provide make-shift forts for the boys. I had "snowballs" everywhere! I had hoped it could be taken outside with the real stuff, but we had warmer temperatures which melted everything. This game was a hit and is being used for a witner games activity with our church youth.

A fun party that had the boys excited and talking about it! Yeah!

O Christmas Tree

You would think they (aka family) would now the routine by now. It happens the same way everytime. Maybe they are just slow learners. Or maybe they just block the traumatic experience from their minds. They could just be gluttons for punishment or hopeful that this time might be different. Remind me not to send them to Vegas.

This past Saturday we went to get a Christmas tree. We left Eric at home because of the cold weather. Charissa was more than willing to watch him for us. Oren wanted to stay home too. They probably lost hope.

We don't just get a tree. We go to a tree farm and hike around for 30 minutes to find the perfect tree, but are so frozen at the end of 30 minutes that we settle for any tree so we can end the fun family adventure. Looking for Mr. Right has got to be easier than looking for the right tree.

First, we ride to tractor and trailer out to the far reaches of the farm. We are headed to the soft needle trees. What happens next is Mom spots "The Tree". We all hop off in high hopes that in deed it is the one. Upon closer inspection, the needles are the wrong color, the tree is too skinny, the tree is too fat, the tree isn't full enough, etc. The first tree is NEVER the right one. You would think we would have learned that.

So off we trek to find the one tree destined to grace our living room. This year Cara has a checklist. Hubby insists on soft needles. I insist on the right shade of green. Joanna says it can't be too fat. Hubby asks her if she loves him anyway which earns him a mighty eye-rolling. Jonathan and Kalynne insist the tree be found soon. So on we go walking halfway back up to the entrance eliminating tree after tree while the cold eliminates all feeling in our ears, fingers and toes.

Finally when are about to grab the nearest bush and pass it off as a tree, we find THE TREE. It is the perfect shape, color, not-too-fat and has soft needles to boot. We freeze some more while the children try to cut it down. It is hard to do that with frozen fingers.

Hubby finishes the job, and he and Kalynne haul it to the side of the road so we can ride the tractor back. Kalynne is a big fan of creating family memories. She wants to hurry and end the family activity so it can be a memory.

There the tree is shaken, tied and paid for by hubby while the rest of us enjoy some hot cider and try to get feeling back in our toes (and tongues after scalding it in a hurry to warm ourselves up). Once the tree is tied to the car, we head home proud of our find and hoping it doesn't fall off. One tree-hunting adventure a year is enough.

More Vacation Pictures

Just some random pictures from Thanksgiving Day ...

Eric (like the shirt?)

Eric and his cousin Austin (Austin is 6 weeks older)

Eric using Charissa as a climbing tool

The Feast

There were 35 people there and that still wasn't everyone.

Eric with Grandpa and Grandma

Me and my girls goofing off

Sand Dunes

The Sand Dunes are huge dunes of sand. (Duh!) By huge, I mean huge and really tall, really big. I am about a third of the way up when I took this picture. If you want to work off that Thanksgiving meal, climb one of these suckers afterwards. I don't know how my kids kept going up and down so many times. One time up about killed me. The kids loved to roll down. How they didn't lose their lunch is another mystery.

Kalynne, the forever drama queen

Grandma, Charissa and Eric

Cara

Joanna was being buried too but didn't like the sand in her underwear. After a couple of seconds she was hopping around trying to shake it all out. Judging by the bathtub after they washed up, I don't think she got it all. The other half was still in the kids' jeans.

Below is a clip from the Dunes before we headed home. Hubby is going to rescue Joanna who got a mouthful of sand. Both ends were loaded, I guess. The goof in the red is Jonathan.

Must be all the wind ...

It swept me away. That is why I have been absent from my posting. Actually it is the whirlwind of activities that have happened in the last 3 weeks. The wind is strong and bitterly cold enough though right now to sweep you away.

For Thanksgiving we all travelled out to SE Utah to see family and spend Thanksgiving week. The kids thought missing two days of school was an early Christmas gift. For the week before I was busy cleaning, washing clothes, packing and taking care of obligations I have at church and with our school's PTO.

Then there was the travelling. We left Friday (21st) about 5 p.m. and drove into Iowa. We took off the next morning to be hit with a snow storm on I-80. The snow was creating icy and slick roads. Some of the kids thought Dad was just being cool by swerving all over the road. I was trying to not have a full-blown anxiety attack. We made it through the storm and had good weather, perfect travelling weather in fact, the rest of the way. We arrived in Utah early Sunday evening. That many hours with that many people smashed together in a van and hotel rooms gets old fast.

While the kids had grandma and grandpa all to themselves, we rode the four wheelers, went hiking to see ruins and had a picnic at the sand dunes. I was dumping sand out of jeans for days. On Wednesday, everyone started showing up. The excitement of the evening is when Joanna split the back of her head open. There is no hospital in hubby's small hometown, and the urgent care was closed early. Super Glue, butterfly bandages and a trained Brother-in-law go a long to fixing up a distraught little 5 year old.

Joanna didn't even know she split her head open. She was trying to get outside to be with her cousins when the door handle came off in her hand. She fell. She was more upset she broke grandpa's door. It was her uncle that noticed the blood running down the back of her head. I think it was the mention of staples that made her hysterical.

For Thanksgiving we packed 35 people in one large room. It was full of fun, food and laughs. We had a family white elephant gift exchange later followed by games. The major entertainment for the young kids was taking a foam mattress down the stairs at grandma's house. Joanna tried to get back into the game after we patched her up, but I was a meanie and made her wait until the following day.

Joanna was the only major injury. Hubby was sure there would be one with Cara on the four-wheeler. It amazes me that the child that tattles on every little slight can be so fearless when it comes to rides and roller coasters. Cara was driving with Clint riding on the same four-wheeler behind her. She took a corner a bit fast and had two wheels off the ground. She laughed, and her daddy informed her to slow down. I think he invoked a speed limit after that. ;)

Coming home we took the I-40 route home since I-80 through the mountains in Colorado was going to be in poor travelling condition. We didn't need a fishtailing van on mountain roads as the flat roads occurrence was scary enough. That lengthened our trip home a bit. We avoided snow until our last day which was spent the entire day (8 hours of driving) in it.

Once we got home, we stretched our limbs and enjoyed our rooms and own beds. The next few days were catch up with laundry, unpacking, doctor appointments and all of our normal obligations. Things are still slowly returning to normal or what is normal around here for us.

Pictures will be posted soon throughout next week.