Mommy Nerves (aka waiting for Eric's out-patient surgery)

I am up way too early. I have been tossing and turning for a couple of hours so decided to get up. It is a quarter to 5 a.m. now. My alarm isn't set to go off for almost an hour. I finally just got up so at least hubby can sleep. I figured to catch up on some housework. Then I decided to catch up on the blog. Maybe typing out things will help alleviate my nerves.

Eric goes in for out-patient surgery at 7 a.m. He is having a lingual frenalotomy. Besides being unable to pronounce the medical term this early in the morning, it sounds more serious. Eric is having the skin that attaches his tongue to the floor of his mouth cut. Ya know that piece of skin? Eric's is attached to the end of his tongue as well.

At first it wasn't a problem. Most of my other kids were born with it as well. Cara had it pretty bad too. I am not one to rush into medical intervention for (1) cost and (2) putting my children through perhaps unnecessary things. What mom likes to do that anyway? Like I said Cara has it, but she never had problems nursing. It was a dream with no pain, cracking, infections for a full year. Yet if you ask her to stick out her tongue, it will curl back into her mouth before getting much past her lips. It is kind of funny. She isn't talented like a friend's child who can pick her nose with her tongue. Ick! Maybe that is a good thing (the attached tongue not picking your nose with your tongue).

Anyway, I noticed Eric's attached-tongue-thingy problem pretty quickly. I decided to wait and see with him. Nursing was horrible for the first 6 weeks. I stuck it out because I figured I was out-of practice. It got better so I figured it wasn't bad enough to warrant clipping. Then he was nearing the 6 month mark. It started going downhill for me. Nursing hurt. I take 3 Ibuprofen so I can deal with the pain which is what I take following childbirth. I deal with pain fairly well, but was getting to the end of my endurance. I couldn't wean Eric either.

On one particularly bad day, I tried to offer Eric some formula. He refused (couldn't properly suck on the bottle's nipple or attach which was our problem too) the bottle so I nursed him. I just grimaced and bore it. It was a good thing though. As I was watching him eat, I noticed his face getting red, a bit swollen and developing whelps. I couldn't decide if it was the formula or baby food seeing he had gotten both all around his mouth. I put a drop of formula on a clear part of facial skin. It had the same reaction. It seems Eric is allergic to formula. I guess it was a good thing he refused to take the bottle.

I really don't want to pay more money for the expensive hypo-allergenic formula. I also figured since I produce a cost-free meal for my baby that it was the better route. Eric loves nursing. It is just me that is having issues. Since he was so tongue-tied I figured this was the next step. I just decided it too "late". Up until 2 months, the doctor can clip the tongue in the office. After that the babies get too strong. Eric is over 7 months now. So that is why he has out-patient surgery today.

I am told he will receive a bit of gas to make him sleep so the procedure can be done. The medical staff says it is easy and quick. I see nothing easy about it. Not only can I not nurse or even feed my baby for 6 hours before the procedure (not to either of our likings), but I have to sit in the room and fret what ifs. What if there is a reaction to the gas? What if things don't go as planned? What if ...? Then there is the after part. What if it really doesn't help? What if the problem was me and not Eric and putting him through was ...? I better stop now.

I guess that is what happens with being a mommy. I am not even a worrier by nature even, but I can't help myself. This is my baby. It is just what I do.